Under his skin
by KK94
Summary: Severus was alone. But then one particular Slytherin got under his skin. So much so that it didn't matter how far away he went, no matter what he did. Years of memories repressed and one name read out on the Death Eater recruit list stops that. SLASH RegSev with mentioned Lucissa. Oneshot based on Chatzy RP. Possible OOC-ness. Rated K for swearing.


**(Hello you guys! So, I'm typing up the next chapter of In Denial, but due to chatzy awesomeness, I was inspired to write this one-shot. Contains Lucissa And Regerus. (Because I refuse to call that pairing 'Rape'). Characters may be OOC, particularly Regulus, whom was portrayed as the following in the chatzy. I am in the middle of the next chapter of 'In Denial, so hopefully that will be up soon. I just want to get that over and done with, get a few things out of my system Fanfiction wise. DAMN I NEED MORE TIME! As always, dedicated to Nimuethesorceress and Little Miss Thalia Grace. Enjoy!)**

Sitting at a table headed by the Dark Lord himself, in person, would terrify any normal twenty year old. But then again, most twenty year olds weren't like Severus Snape. The man who had spent his whole childhood and school-life lusting for a place at this table, at his master's side. So the fact that he was there, now, slowly getting closer and closer to the Dark Lord as his most trusted advisor, should fill him with a sense of either pride, satisfaction or excitement.

So why didn't it?

"My Lord, the list of the new recruits that will be initiated this summer has arrived, would you like to go through it?" One of the masked Death Eaters spoke, trembling.

Severus watched as the Dark Lord muttered an affirmative, before lowering his eyes to the table. Three years ago, he was so excited at the prospect of being at this table right now. He didn't have a true future anywhere else. Sure, he had excellent grades, especially in Potions, but the idea of using said grades was... pointless in the long run. He had few acquaintances, fewer friends, and very very few, if any, close ones. So what had changed?

Name after name was read out, with a bit of information about each prospective Death Eater. Boredom at its finest. It gave Severus time to ponder over the emptiness in his life. Another useless piece of information was passed around the table before...

"Regulus Black."

Severus physically flinched, causing the masked Death Eater next to him to shuffle away from him slightly. He didn't care, he didn't give two fucks anymore. Flashback after flashback of memories he had spent years pushing out of his mind re-appeared before his very eyes in seconds. From across the room, Lucius and Narcissa looked over. They were easily recognizable, even with their masks on. As well as the pale skin and grey eyes that Lucius owned, accompanied with the bright blue eyes and pale skin which meant Narcissa was present, the pair were in fact holding hands underneath the table. None of the Death Eaters knew that those two were a couple and, although risking things by doing stupid stunts like that, they wanted to keep it that way. But even in the middle of their little 'love bubble', they had seen Severus's reaction.

"Born: in 1971, pureblooded. Graduating from Hogwarts this September... Slytherin... Was in his Quidditch team, as a Seeker, blahblahblah..."

Obviously irritated, the Dark Lord growled. "Yes, yes, yes, we get the gist. Next..."

No, Severus thought, no you don't get the gist! How can you tell of Regulus's personality through those simple facts?! He didn't mention his hyperactive attitude, his will to express himself in any means necessary, the way his eyes sparkled with the enjoyment of life, even in the darkest of times...

Shaking his head slightly, Severus contained his sudden bubble of anger with extreme surprise. Heart thudding, he closed his eyes and focused on breathing in and out, in and out, in and out... So he had chosen to become a Death Eater after all? A part of the black haired boy wondered why, another filling him with fear, and a final piece filling him with hope. With the Dark Lord distracted, Severus let his mind wander on the boy that he hadn't seen since his days at Hogwarts.

The weirdest thing? When they first met, he didn't even think any more of Regulus than he thought of any of the Death Eaters here.

(Flashback)

He was a year younger at Hogwarts than Severus. Severus was present at his sorting. It was a miserable start of term, with the promise of a thunderstorm later on. He was starving, as well as many of the others at the table, who just wished the sorting would be over and done with. Bellatrix and Lucius were both looking at their plates hungrily, not even bothering to pay attention. Narcissa was staring at the new first years and from Severus's angle, it looked like she was watching with fascination, maybe reminiscing about their sorting the previous year. Five years later, she finally admitted that at that time, she was staring at Lucius from the corner of her eye. Severus, bored and with nothing else to do, stared aimlessly as one irritating little first year after another being sorted. There were few Slytherins this year, which disappointed the lad. What annoyed him further was the fact that there were more Gyffindors. Speaking of which, on the other side of the hall, at said table, was a speckle eyed git grinning evilly in Severus's direction. He doubted things would be fun for him in the coming months.

At Regulus's name, Severus's head turned back, purely because of the family name. "A relation of yours?" He spoke to the females, not taking his eyes off of the lad, who ran eagerly to the stool to try on the Sorting Hat.

"Oh yes, that's our cousin. Sirius's brother." Narcissa replied matter-of-factly, twirling he hair between her fingers.

Bellatrix looked up from the table, her thoughts shattered. "He actually came? Completely forgot..." She yawned. "I wonder if he'll be a Gryffindor...?"

That openly showed how much their family really cared about the younger boy. Save for Lucius, they all actually watched his sorting with curiosity. It took the hat two minutes to sort him, but of course, he was sorted into Slytherin. Across the table, Sirius cheered louder than the rest of the Gryffindors combined at the fact that his younger brother would not be tormenting him. Not that Regulus cared. He was so thrilled to be in Gryffindor that he ran over to the table and hugged the nearest person. The nearest person just so happened to be Severus. He glomped him for a full ten seconds before Severus had the common sense to push the child as hard as he could into the opposite direction.

Back then, he had yet to be friends with any of the Slytherins, but the few he was acquaintances with smirked at the action. Their smirks caused Severus to hate this lad instantly.

But he didn't hate then, not at all. Even throughout the year, as Severus grew closer to Lucius, both united by their fascination of Defense against the Dark Arts, the kid would loiter not too far away, listening to the words that the two children spoke and always replying with a squeaky over-the-top hyperactive voice. Lucius and Narcissa often left together at tyhis point, spending more and more time with each other.

The months passed too quickly. The little time Severus spent with Lily Evans grew shorter. On the bright side, he now found himself in a little circle of friends including Lucius, Narcissa, Bellatrix, Yaxley and, strangely enough, the young Regulus Black. None of the group were particularly close really, but all of them were surprised by the amount of time the young lad spent with the group. At some points, they made secret plans to shake Regulus away from the group, including meeting in the most awkward of places. But no... he always seemed to find his way.

So the group got used to him. A few years passed. During that time, he picked up a LOT of Muggle slang, won the heart of quite a few teenagers and, in a sense, got accepted into the group. Through those years, Regulus spent a lot of his time talking pointlessly to Severus, about nothing at all. Random conversations that went through one ear and out of the other. He still hadn't forgotten that first day.

But what really made Severus notice him was at the near enough end of fifth year. Things between him and James Potter had only progressed in terror. It had gotten to the point where Severus couldn't even walk down the corridors at Hogwarts anymore without fear of being over-powered, three to one. Remus usually stood back, not wanting a part of it. Within a few seconds, the trio had cornered him up and sent him flying down the corridor with a simple wave of a wand. Severus whacked his head off of an unknown object, causing an unusually painful headache and blurred vision. When he felt his head, blood was present. James wasn't being merciful today...

No doubt things would have been much worse if a spell hadn't hit the speckled lad and a voice hadn't spoke. "Get the FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!"

Dazed, Severus could do little more than think. Lucius? No, he doesn't speak like that. Lily? Only in his wildest dreams. Bellatrix? Possibly, rumours say she does have a thing for him, but the voice was a bit more masculine. Straining to look through the clouded vision, Severus could make out a figure shooting spells angrily at the other figures. Non-verbal spells? How advanced!

Soon enough, the cries disappeared and Severus's vision returned. The figure picked him up. "Hey Severus, dude. You alright, man?" He recognized the voice straight away, but still had to confirm his thoughts by staring at the lad in front of him. He literally looked at him for seconds, which slowly turned into minutes. Regulus didn't mind, it gave him the chance to give Severus the once over, to check for injuries. Finding the one on Severus's forehead, his face portrayed shock and anger. "We've got to get you to the hospital Wing, man!" He growled, grabbing the other man's arm.

Severus didn't move, he was still openly staring at Regulus. Eventually, he frowned in confusion. "What happened? Why are you here? Why did you do that?!" The last part was shouted as he pulled out of his grip and woozily walked towards the common room.

"No! You are going to the hospital wing!" He shouted, literally picking up the other lad and carrying him, Severus's protests lost to his ears.

There are some things you can't go through without being friends, one of them being defending someone from a group of malicious bullies.

So, after that, people noticed Severus acting a bit less... harsh towards young Regulus Black. Narcissa and Lucius, whom had started courting at this point, started commenting on their bromance at regular points. Well, just as often as Regulus made comments about their relationship. Any time the young lad bounded towards the table after lunch, Severus would, reluctantly, shuffle across the bench a centimeter to allow him to sit with the group. In the common room, Severus was always the first one to greet the boy, and like-wise. Over time, the pair would pair up in lessons, always with Regulus's grin and Severus's scowl, and soon after, Severus would be one of the people most likely to listen to Regulus's random conversations.

Months passed and, slowly, the boys started developing a friendship of sorts. Regulus had no idea how it had happened, but he couldn't have been more delighted. The friendship solidified on a certain event that happened one day in the Great Hall. Severus had no idea how it happened. One minute, he was staring at Lily Evans, thinking about those Gryffindors and their latest assaults, the next Regulus had ran up to the Black haired man and hugged him. "You staring at Evans again, dude?" He asked in a quiet voice, filled with slight sadness. Severus didn't answer a question, instead he sighed. To this day, he swore it was the way Regulus had looked at him, but Severus told Regulus everything about Lily, including his fears he was falling for that bastard Potter, and that being the reason that he always tormented him.

Regulus had nodded and listened to every word without speaking. He then hugged the younger man. For the first time in his life, Severus Snape had hugged someone that wasn't Lily or his mother.

In his fifth year, the event involving the marauders and Lily happened. Severus made a mistake. One, simple mistake. That mistake turned out to the the biggest mistake of his life. The first person Severus turned to was his now close friend, Regulus.

"Talk to her." He said quickly. "Say you're sorry."

Sighing, Severus turned to Regulus. "I have already! Twenty seven times, while waiting outside of her common room!"

"And?"

"She refuses to accept it. She refuses to talk to me while I am choosing to influence my life with the dark arts." Severus looked up at Regulus with something that almost looked like emotion in his eyes. "What do I do?"

Regulus was the one who's eyes filled with tears. He was the one who hugged Severus, crying. "I don't know, man. I'm so sorry, I don't know..."

Going into shut-down mode, Severus automatically raised his arms to awkwardly return the hug. "Don't cry, Regulus. Slytherin's don't cry."

"Tell that to your pillow at night." Both boys chuckled.

For a while, the boys sat in silence. "Can't you talk to her, Regulus? You two are friends, after all."

Regulus looked at the man, tears hanging onto his eyes. He nodded.

A small smile appeared on his eyes. "Thank you so much."

A whole year passed and, although the talking did give Severus the chance to be civil with Lily whilst talking about schoolwork and such, they never were as close as they were in their first year before Potter ever again. But that was OK. Severus may not be ecstatic with this arrangement, but he was happy. And him and Regulus? Well, they appreciated each others company regularly. Sometimes, occasionally, Regulus could make Severus do or say something that many Muggles do, like fistbump. On really good days, he could make Severus smile and giggle, sometimes even show emotion other than the sadness that lay heavily on his soul.

Although Severus would never admit it, he loved having Regulus as a friend. Deep down inside, they knew that soon they would leave and never return to each other's side, due to Severus's lust to join the Dark Lord. That filled him with sadness every time he talked to Lucius about it. But it was his destiny. Until then, he would appreciate the company of the other boy just a little bit longer.

On the last year of their school-life together, something strange happened. December came, the cold was present throughout even the corridors of Hogwarts, and Severus was attempting to reach the library to spend some time studying for the final exams. They may have been a while away, but they always crept on the young boy sooner than he liked. Wanting to avoid Potter, he decided to use a short cut that he found on the second floor a few years ago. He opened the tapestry, accidentally tripping over a couple in the corridor.

Lily screeched. James yelled and reached for his wand. Both of them were partially naked.

It was only after he had ran through to the other side of the small corridor that Severus finally registered what he saw. He counted to fifty in his head and, double-checking, he re-opened the tapestry. Yep, Lily and James was engrossed in physical activity, snogging their faces off. Lily, the girl he loved. James, the guy he hated. Hmmm...

Deciding he no longer wanted to study, Severus retreated to his common room, then to his dormitory. Regulus, concerned, followed to find Severus literally just lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a confused expression. "Yo, Severus, you cool?" Severus nodded, but didn't respond. Instead, he closed his eyes and concentrated on pushing all his emotion deep inside himself. Regulus recognized this straight away. "Oh no, don't start doing that. I thought we passed all this." When the younger man still didn't respond, he walked over there with passion and physically pulled him up, shaking his shoulders. "Talk. To. Me." He yelled.

Eventually, Severus looked at him. "Not now. Maybe later."

Regulus obviously did not like this, but didn't question any further. "Fine." He growled. "But I guess it has something to do with Lily, right?"Severus hummed an affirmative. "And that something has upset you?"

Here, Severus faltered. "I... don't know."

Regulus looked at Severus for a minute, before nodding. "Right." He reached under his bed and pulled out a bottle labeled 'firewhisky'. Grabbing two plastic cups, he poured half into one cup, poured a quarter into the second and passed Severus the second one. "Drink it. Straight down."

"What? No! I'm not drinking that, you KNOW alcohol isn't permitted in the dormitories." Severus placed the cup away from him, on the table.

"Yes, I know that. And you obviously know that. So care to explain the empty bottles under your bed two weeks ago?" Severus flinched, before turning back to the other, giving him his best evil look. Regulus simply re-handed him the cup, a smirk on his face and an eyebrow raised. "Come on... It's Christmas!"

Three shots later, Severus was ready to talk to a not-very sober Regulus. He explained everything he saw in the hidden corridor with slight difficulty. "But it was weird, Regulus. When I saw them, you know, together, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. But I thought I would be more, you know, upset. I mean, I am." He swallowed, then continued. "This is the girl I've been in love with since I was nine, and yeah, i'm sad, but why aren't I crying over her in my drunken state?"

Regulus had sat there patiently, listening to the whole thing, swaying subconsciously from the amount of alcohol in his system. "M-maybe the fact that you knew it was coming prepared you from the heartbreak?" He slurred slightly. "Or maybe, maybe her actions have made you get over her?"

"Maybe..." Severus considered, pouring himself another shot. "But still, nine years! What changes nine years of-"

"Severus, relax." Regulus said, frowning. "Are you sure you're not still in love with this girl, because you sure are still obsessing over her." He laughed.

Shrugging, Severus started to drink his shot. "Sorry Regulus. I know it's boring, me going on about it all the time. And thanks, for... you know... being there..."

Laughing a bit too loudly, Regulus wrapped his arm around Severus's waist. "No problem, dude. You know i'll always be there for you. Even when you join the Death Eaters..." Regulus's face fell for a second.

Now it was Severus's turn to chuckle. "Don't start crying again."

"Shut up, you! It's Christmas, i can cry if I want to." His spare arm gestured as he sang, before falling. For a few seconds, there was silence. "I'll miss you." Regulus admitted quickly.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll um... I'll miss you too..." Severus responded almost instantly.

"No, I mean it. I'll miss you so much. An-and when you go out there, fulfilling the Dark Lord's will, making a difference, I'll never stop thinking of you. I'll worry about you every single day. And in my last year at Hogwarts, I won't talk to anyone, i'll just stare at the empty seat next to me-"

"Stop being so dramatic, Regulus." Severus turned his body towards his.

"It's true, though. I'll remember how you used to look at me with pure venom in your eyes, as if questioning how I dare join your group. I'll remember how you completely ignored me, talking to the others, while I listened..."

"Wasted years..." Severus agreed.

"They weren't wasted, they weren't!" Regulus assured. "If you never hated me, I would never have gotten any emotion out of you. That was the fun part."

Severus looked at the other man weirdly. "Well, you were a weird child. I mean, who hugs a random person because they got into a house? And why did you do it?!"

"It was a random person. It was you. And I did it because I could see the loneliness in your eyes. Which was the exact same reason I was always around you. I did it to get in your pretty little head, Severus."

Blinking twice, Severus smirked. "I wasn't aware you thought I was pretty." He had replied. Well, the alcohol in his system allowed him to tease, which he certainly couldn't have done normally.

"Of course I do. You're the most beautiful, passionate, intelligent person in the world. That's why I'm in love with you."

Severus opened his mouth to tell him that the joke wasn't very funny, especially considering what had just happened earlier today. But then he remembered that Regulus was completely intoxicated, that the man could not lie to defend himself, and that the man still hadn't removed his arm from around his waist. Maybe that's the reason why his partially tipsy self didn't stop Regulus's lips from reaching his own. He knew this wasn't allowed, so he decided to give him his fun. He started counting to ten in his mind, very slowly. When he reached ten, however, he realized that he was in fact now kissing Regulus, one hand on his cheek, the other on the back of his head. Although the faint taste of alcohol was there, he tasted of chicken, lemon and the slight taste of ice cream. The weird combination tasted nice, especially with the taste of Regulus himself. Severus questioned why his heart was beating so fact when kissing the drunk boy, then realized why it was that he didn't care about Lily anymore. Why would he want her when he already had Regulus this whole time? Eventually, to Regulus's sadness, he pulled away.

"Don't look at me like that. We're not meant to do this. And it's not nice of me to take advantage of you while you are drunk." Severus said simply, clearing the glasses away.

"I'm not drunk!" Getting up, he immediately fell onto the floor and groaned, making sleepy noises. He was going to pass out.

"Sure you're not." Severus said sarcastically. "You OK down there?" When Regulus grunted positively, Severus turned away from him. His heart was still quite fast, but not as fast as before. He could blame the alcohol. He could blame the sudden physical contact out of no-where. He could, but he didn't.

"If it's the only chance I'm going to get to say it, Regulus." Severus inhaled. "Your friendship is one of the few things I appreciate about Hogwarts. But somewhere, along the random conversations where, half of the time, I can't understand a single word you're saying and the fact I have to tutor you in some subjects and the laughs and the tears and the times you've defended my honor... I think I may have possibly somehow fallen in love with you too. Potter can have Evans as long as you stay by my side." After a few seconds, he didn't reply. "Regulus?" He turned around the find the boy, asleep with a smile on his face.

"You are such a drunken idiot." Severus smiled before pulling a blanket over him, grabbing a pillow and joining him on the floor.

And, as expected, Regulus woke up next morning with a massive hangover and no recollection of the events the previous night. Which was both a good and a bad thing for Severus. Being who he was, he didn't mention anything, instead deciding to continue as if it never happened. But even Regulus noticed the boy being so much nicer.

The last time they ever saw each other was a month before school officially broke up. Severus had received a latter requesting him into the ranks as a Death Eater, as Lucius had before him. The letter had requested they came immediately and not to tell anyone of their leaving. But at this point, Severus didn't care. He ran to Regulus in tears, pulling him into the dormitory away from prying eyes. Regulus's concern only made Severus worse. He handed Regulus the letter and let him read it, unable to make words come out of his mouth. He turned his back on Regulus and grabbed as many tissues as possible, blowing his nose.

"Oh Wizard God."

Severus turned round to be met by clothing and soon found himself being held tightly by a now-also-sobbing Regulus. "Wh-when do you have to l-leave?" He hiccoughed, still hugging the boy.

"I'm leaving today. Lucius is picking me up. soon, from what I can tell." Severus's voice cracked from lack of use. He held a second letter, which the other took. It stated to get ready, for Lucius would be there soon. "I... I may never see you again." Severus spoke quietly.

Regulus bit his fist, tears streaming down his face. He turned and spoke. "Do you want help packing?"

"Wh-what?"

"Do. You want. Help packing." Regulus said slowly, waving his wand to pack Severus's clothes.

"Wha- Stop that, STOP THAT!" Severus screamed, pushing Regulus, even though he had already finished. "You're not meant to be PACKING, you're meant to be UPSET?!"

"Severus, what the hell do you call THIS? A fucking PATRONUS?!" He gestured to his face, where the tears were still falling. "Why are YOU crying? This is your dream! Your mission!"

"Because I'm going to miss you, you idiot!" He hugged the man again.

Something about those words made Regulus freeze for a split second before he returned the hug, burying his head in the other's neck. "I'll miss you, Severus. Please don't forget me."

"Never, Regulus. I will remember you. Always."

The last thing Severus remembers is pulling away from the boy and his face, inches away from his own. Their eyes, met, and both sets darts to the other's lips and back, cautiously before leaning in...

Lucius came in and interrupted their pair, not even bothering to question what he saw. On the way, he told Severus he'd expected it to happen, but he owed Cissy five galleons. "The little minx." He said softly.

Procedure meant that Severus couldn't see Regulus. He couldn't write to him, he couldn't even think of him otherwise the Dark Lord would know. He survived the initiation and became Voldemort's right hand man. But even after all this time, the boy got under his skin.

(Two months later)

All of the accepted recruits lined up to have the Dark Marks etched into their skin. Masks were already on their faces, a sign of respect, to show they were ready to give up their very identity for the cause of the Dark Lord. Severus scanned the new recruits, knowing the ones who never got through were killed. Desperately, Severus searched the eyes of those waiting. Most of them had their eyes to the floor, some to the Dark Lord, one even had his eyes closed. but not one of them looked in Severus's direction. "No..." Severus whispered, his heart sinking. He held back the tears, keeping his posture up. Regulus wouldn't want me to cry. He was brave, happy, hyper, so much more of a man than any other person on this planet.

"Severus." Narcissa whispered, nudging the black haired man and using her eyes to point at the man who had his eyes closed.

He was staring at Narcissa and Lucius, noticing the way they were, once again, holding hands. He could see their blonde curls and their eyes. Taking it all in, he looked past them towards the man. Their eyes met. And Severus knew.

Severus scratched his nose, revealing his face 'accidentally'. The other boy's eyes widened, and he, too did the same.

Severus could have cried. It was his Regulus. HIS friend, with tears of happiness in his eyes too.

He came back for him.


End file.
